6 Self-Compassion Exercises to Boost Your Happiness

How do you develop more self-compassion? Try these activities.

Self-compassion is thought of as giving yourself the same compassion you'd give others. That means that self-compassion involves comforting and taking care of yourself.

Joy Johnson, LCSW, author of The Self-Compassion Workbook, says that self-compassion includes skills like mindful awareness, self-acceptance, living your values, and loving-kindness. When we have self-compassion, we can identify when we fail to meet our standards or live our values, but we don't judge ourselves so much. That's why self-compassion may help us increase our happiness and well-being.

Here are some exercises to help you increase self-compassion:

1. Write a Self-Compassion Letter

Research has shown that writing self-compassionate letters to ourselves can decrease depression and increase happiness. So try to write out something kind to yourself, talking to yourself like you're a child or someone in need of kindness.

2. Let Go of Negativity

When you're embroiled in negativity, try to imagine a blue sky with fluffy clouds. Attach each of those negative thoughts to a cloud and see them as they move away. This exercise can help you see that negativity can fade away and potentially be replaced with positivity.

3. Stand Up to Your Inner Critic

When you're being self judgy, take this opportunity to stand up for yourself against your inner critic. Ask yourself, why are you saying these negative things to yourself? Are you being unfair to yourself? How would you stand up to a bully who said those things to someone you cared about or a small child? See if you can use these types of questions to fight against those self-critical thoughts.

4. Nix the "Shoulds"

Our entire lives, people have told us that we "should" do things. This leads us to talk to ourselves the same way. But that's not helpful and not even true. We’re basically just judging ourselves for doing things differently than someone else might. So see if you can stop using the word "should" in your internal monologues.

5. Practice Loving-Kindness

Loving-kindness meditation, which is usually directed toward others, has been shown to benefit our well-being. But there is no reason we can't direct this toward ourselves when we’re feeling sad.

6. Take a Self-Compassion Break

Sometimes we just need to take a quick self-compassion break. Maybe we're self-judging or being harsh or unkind to ourselves. By stopping everything for a little break where we’re nice to ourselves, we can hopefully turn things around.

7. Forgive Yourself

Sometimes we’re jerks to ourselves because we feel guilty for doing something bad in the past. But there is nothing we can do to change the past. All we can do is apologize (if necessary) and move on. Although it's not always easy, forgiving ourselves can help us be happier and move past difficulties.

In Sum

Self-compassion is an important skill for helping us improve our self-worth and self-confidence. So give these self-compassion exercises a try to see if they help you.

References

Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(5), 377-389.

Hutcherson, C. A., Seppala, E. M., & Gross, J. J. (2008). Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness. Emotion, 8(5), 720. Chicago