How to Attain Serenity in Your Life
Discover this stable and enduring sense of inner peace, a peace that lasts through all sorts of trials and tribulations.
Serenity is a sense of inner peace that is not subject to the whims of the outside world (Roberts & Whall, 1996). For people who describe themselves as having had or are currently experiencing a sense of serenity, this state of being usually follows from having had a spiritual awakening of some kind. In other words, people with serenity have realized that their lives are not within their control—and they’re okay with that. They know they’re not supposed to be in charge. Instead, they recognize that some larger force is working in their lives, and maybe in all of our lives, to make sure they’ll be okay.
That, at least, is the understanding of serenity as it’s commonly described by addicts in recovery (Roberts & Whall, 1996). Perhaps the experience of serenity is especially compelling to people in addiction recovery because they’ve experienced chaos and continuous fear for so long. But the concept of serenity is also relevant for people without addiction. This is because serenity is not simply a state of being, exactly. Rather, it’s created by an assortment of healthy mental and spiritual practices (Connors et al., 1999). Active prayer and meditation, use of other mindfulness skills, coping mechanisms, and in particular the ability to accept life as it comes, letting go of and detaching from one’s negative emotions, are all key components of reaching a state of serenity.
Benefits of Serenity
The psychological research is fairly clear on this: The more serenity people have, the better their mental and physical well-being. For example, one study found that people higher in self-reported serenity experienced more positive emotions and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression (Kreitzer et al., 2009). Another found that people who were higher in serenity were less likely to ruminate, or get stuck in negative thought patterns, and therefore experienced less anxiety about their health (Wolfradt et al., 2014).
Examples of Serenity
It might be helpful to get more concrete about serenity and provide some examples. Here are some of the characteristics often found in people with serenity in their lives (Roberts & Aspy, 1993):
● An inner sense of peace and security. People with serenity know that they’re safe and good. Outside events may rattle the foundation of this belief, but they won’t shatter it. Serenity means a deep knowing that the world will be okay and you will be okay and you don’t necessarily have to change anything for this okayness to continue.
● The ability to accept life on life’s terms. People with serenity understand that life will throw them curveballs and that many—or maybe even most—of their plans won’t work out. They don’t take this personally, because they know that trying to bend the world to their will simply doesn’t work. Most of them have tried that route many times over, and they’ve ultimately been left frustrated. So they let the randomness of the universe wash over them.
● An increased ability to stay in the present moment. Because people with serenity are not constantly resisting “life on life’s terms,” they’re able to be present much of the time. If they’re feeling bad, they get curious about it but let go of the negative feeling. If they feel good, they feel grateful but try their best not to slip into worry about how long the good feelings will last. As many an addict would say, they try to take things “one day at a time.”
● Trust in a higher power or energetic force in the universe. As we noted above, in most instances an experience of serenity comes paired with an awareness of a power greater than oneself.
● The capacity to get some distance from one’s own emotions. When people with serenity are accepting the present moment as it is, this includes their own emotions. They don’t get drawn into resisting what they feel—they let the emotions unfold. Maybe they say a prayer, call a friend, go on a walk, or take some deep breaths. Maybe they speak their truth to whomever is upsetting them. People with serenity have found skillful ways to respond to their emotions.
● The ability to place oneself in the bigger picture. People with serenity know just how important they aren’t in the grand scheme of things. Yes, you read that right—people with serenity have egos that are nearing their proper size. They have a strong enough sense of self to know their worth and to resist being mistreated, but they’re not self-centered enough to insist that the world revolves around them. They’ve accepted their rightful size in the universe, and they live happier lives as a result.
In Sum
If you want more serenity in your life, you may want to try out some mindfulness or spiritual practices. Or just get out in nature. There are many ways to get more in touch with this sense of inner peace and groundedness that has improved the well-being of many people.
References
● Connors, G. J., Toscova, R. T., & Tonigan, J. S. (1999). Serenity. In W. R. Miller (Ed.), Integrating spirituality into treatment: Resources for practitioners (pp. 235–250). American Psychological Association.
● Kreitzer, M. J., Gross, C. R., Waleekhachonloet, O. A., Reilly-Spong, M., & Byrd, M. (2009). The brief serenity scale: A psychometric analysis of a measure of spirituality and well-being. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 27(1), 7–16.
● Roberts, K. T., & Aspy, C. B. (1993). Development of the Serenity Scale. Journal of Nursing Measurement, 1(2), 145–164.
● Roberts, K. T., & Whall, A. (1996). Serenity as a goal for nursing practice. Image: The Journal of Nursing Scholarship, 28(4), 359–36.
● Wolfradt, U., Oemler, M., Braun, K., & Klement, A. (2014). Health anxiety and habitual rumination: The mediating effect of serenity. Personality and Individual Differences, 71, 130–134.